THE 12-WEEK SECURE BASE PROGRAM
Applications closing Friday 24th of July
The pattern has a name. This is the 12 weeks you outgrow it.
Most attachment advice stops at the label. Secure Base™️ is where you stabilise the spiral, rewire the response, test what is actually real, and reach a decision you can defend in six months. From evidence, not hope.
Two ways in. One outcome: the question that brought you here, answered.
Where you are now
The breakup was never the real problem. The confusion was.
You did not come to SecureBase because you cannot get over them. You came because you cannot make sense of what happened, and until you can, you cannot move in any direction with confidence.
Your diagnostic gave you the read. It showed you the pattern, the dynamic, and where the data is missing. What it could not do in 90 minutes is change the pattern. That part takes structure, repetition, and someone holding the line with you for 12 weeks.
That is the whole job of the program.
The secure base method
Four stages. Twelve weeks. One question, answered.
You cannot decide your way out of confusion. You have to Calm first, Reprogram second, Expose third, then Decide. Each stage is clinically grounded and builds on the last. Skip one and the method does not hold.
Calm
Stabilise the system.
- •Stop the spiral with somatic and DBT-based regulation tools.
- •Interrupt the patterns that keep re-triggering you.
- •Recover sleep, focus, and the ability to function.
Reprogram
Rewire the response.
- •Understand the attachment pattern driving the chaos.
- •Name the distortions and core beliefs running the show.
- •Install new internal responses in place of the old ones.
Expose
Test the relationship.
- •Run structured, real-world experiments with your ex, new dates, yourself.
- •Replace hope with certainty. Replace potential with capacity you can measure.
- •Find out what is actually possible instead of guessing.
Decide
Repair or release.
- •Synthesise everything you learned into a decision you can defend in six months.
- •Choose from clarity, not from panic.
- •End the question that brought you in.
Master your attachment, master your relationships.
How the work moves
Every session builds on the last.
This is not open-ended weekly talk that resets each time you sit down. Twelve sessions, each one standing on the one before, all of them climbing toward the same outcome: a decision you can defend in six months. You always know where you are, and what comes next.
What makes this different
Built on the science, not the trends.
Clinical, not trendy.
Every tool comes from established practice: DBT, CBT, somatic experiencing, attachment theory, ACT. No magic formulas, no manipulation tactics, no made-up frameworks.
Personalised, not protocolised.
Your situation is not a template. Every session is shaped by your specific pattern, your specific relationship, and the specific data you bring back from real-world testing.
Measured, not assumed.
We track real clinical metrics across the 12 weeks, so progress is visible and the decision at the end rests on data you can trust.
Designed for an ending.
This is not a forever-coaching subscription. It is a 12-week program with a defined exit: you make the decision, then you are done. The goal is for you not to need us.
Who you work with
Meet your coaches.
Alexis Friedlander, MSc
Strategist and straight-talk coach
Formerly dismissive-avoidant himself, Alexis turns emotional chaos into a numbered roadmap. He blends six years in the attachment niche with a data-driven approach that holds your ex to a higher standard, so you finally stop over-carrying the load.
Elizabeth James
Somatic calm and boundary coach
A CBT and DBT practitioner, Elizabeth helps you breathe through the anxiety and hold secure boundaries that stick, even when your ex is unpredictable. She delivers your weekly 1:1 work across the 12 weeks.
Real results
Watch what clients say.
Five people who came in stuck on an avoidant partner. Each made a clean decision and kept the tools for life.
Meet Alan
From panic to peace
Meet Ayesha
From rekindling to realising
Meet Kristina
From heartbreak to healing
Meet Ewana
From heartbreak to empowerment
Meet Sue
From stuck to standing
"If this program cost twice as much, I would still have paid. Nothing else gave me this level of support."
Verified reviews
In their words.
Alexis was my go-to in some of the darkest days of my life. I am in my mid-50s, and dating and relating had become a minefield. A lot of self-work and guidance later, I am loving life. Alexis and Elizabeth, I am forever thankful.
An absolute professional. As a former avoidant himself, Alexis truly sees both sides. He gave me advice that was right on the money. My former ex and I are now planning to get married. A sincere gentleman who knows what he is talking about.
His coaching helped me find direction after my breakup. What I liked is that the focus was on building my own confidence, not dwelling on the breakup. With his help I am now looking forward to finding a new partner.
Your next 12 weeks
Choose how you want to be coached.
Same method, same outcome, same defined ending. The difference is who is in the room with you each week. Your written diagnostic and 12-week plan from our call come with both tracks.
SecureBase
The 12-week program
Weekly 1:1 with Elizabeth, milestones with Alexis
$3,500
- ✓12 weekly 1:1 coaching calls with Elizabeth (50 minutes)
- ✓3 milestone sessions with Alexis across the program
- ✓Direct email access to both coaches between sessions
- ✓Weekly 60-minute group workshop
- ✓Friday video roundups
- ✓Private peer support community
- ✓Every worksheet, framework, and tool, yours to keep
- ✓Your written diagnostic and 12-week plan from our call
SecureBase Private
The 12-week program, with Alexis
Every weekly session delivered by Alexis himself
$6,000
- →Everything in SecureBase, plus:
- ✓All 12 weekly 1:1 calls delivered by Alexis, not Elizabeth
- ✓Priority email access to Alexis between sessions
- ✓Real-time support on decisions during your exposure work
- ✓The full strategic read on your specific pattern, every week
14-day satisfaction refund. If the work is not right for you in the first two weeks, we refund the program in full.
What 12 weeks looks like
What changes, based on real clients.
Before SecureBase
- ×Daily meltdowns and breakup grief with no off switch
- ×Constant rumination, no energy left for work or friends
- ×No roadmap, just content and theories that do not fit your situation
- ×The same question on a loop: should I wait, or should I let go?
After SecureBase
- ✓Emotional spikes managed as waves, not collapses
- ✓Re-engaged at work, friendships back in motion
- ✓Clear boundaries and tools you keep for life
- ✓The question answered, based on real data, not hope
Questions
Frequently asked.
You do not need to be sure about the relationship.
You need to be sure about the next 12 weeks.
Whether you reconnect or whether it is truly over, the work is the same: stabilise, understand, test, decide. You finish knowing you regulated your emotions, tested the connection cleanly, and made a choice you can trust.
No more spirals. No more doubts. Just clarity.